View From an Audience Member of the UNLV Debate *Sister Wives Exclusive

This was written by a member of the audience at the UNLV Panel Discussion Apr 25 that was taped for the upcoming "Sister Wives" episode. A young adult with an open mind that just is "speaking" what they saw and thought sent this in, and we are thankful to them for sharing with us. Let us know what you think. 


Since I saw the previews on the Sister Wives show of the panel discussion that took place in Las Vegas I thought I should write a post about what I remember of it.

The audience in the UNLV auditorium seemed to be divided about the polygamy issues the Browns and the Ex-polygamists brought up during the panel discussion or debate. However I have to say, from where I was sitting and from what I was hearing, I felt the majority of people were not in favor of any polygamy, no matter how hard the Browns were trying to make it look like a choice. I also felt the people who were there in favor of polygamy and the Brown family had been set up to be there as their support system.

My friends and I had already read most of the books on polygamy, so I knew what the panelists and hundreds of thousands of polygamists across the U.S. have suffered through. I’d also watched most of the Sister Wives segments, and felt their reason to live polygamy was because of their LDS and fundamental LDS religious doctrine that says living polygamy is required on this earth to get to Heaven and not be damned to hell. This said, it was obvious the Brown’s whole agenda was to convince the audience they did have a choice to live that life-style, and it was their right to live polygamy without prejudice and government interferences.

I could tell the family had read Kristyn’s book "Fifty Years in Polygamy – Big Secrets and Little White Lies" before they came onto the show. That being their main form of rebuttal that polygamy is good. Robyn talked directly to Kristyn, saying she felt sorry that she’d had such horrible things happen to her in her family and all around her, but all she and her mother’s family experiences in polygamy were happy.

Christine said she had a wonderful childhood, being raised by her wealthy father- having their needs met, and from both her mothers who doted on them. She said she had perfect parents, who never fought and were exemplary polygamists. She claimed she never knew anything but happiness in her father’s plural family. But all of that felt totally contradictory when she told us how devastated she was when her mother left her father and their belief system. “If all was so great, why did her mom leave?” I wondered.

Kody said he didn’t doctrinally know much about his religion, he mostly lived it because he believed it to be a true principal from the teachings of his Mormon prophet Joseph Smith, and from other church leaders who followed his commands. He felt he had a right to live the way he wanted and that those who criticized his way of life were those who had misconceptions about polygamy and their choice to live it, because of evil men like Warren Jeffs and a “few” others who did vile and evil things.

Meri also addressed her desire to live polygamy, saying thought it was sometimes tough, she wanted to live that way because that’s what she believed in, and therefore it and it was her religious right to “choose” to do so. She liked having sisters and close family.

Janelle said she was raised in the LDS church, and was a convert to the belief after a divorce, and said she wouldn’t do it any other way.

Then it was the ex-polygamist’s turn to speak.

Willy Steed , from the FLDS community grabbed my heart when he emotionally talked about hating his life in polygamy, being beat by his father, watching siblings get beat and yelled at, being taken from school at age 8 to work for money to contribute to Warren Jeffs, of watching young boys get hurt and killed on jobs that were completely un-safe for them.

Kollene Snow, from the Kingston Clan or the Order, brought me to tears when she cried her eyes out, while trying to tell how hard it was being raised in polygamy with too many kids, extreme poverty, while the leaders wore suits, ate gourmet meals, traveled and had the best homes with their first wives. She said her father was completely absent in her life unless he came home to impregnate her mother and abuse the kids. She grew up being told he was her uncle. She finally ran from his abusive, violent behaviors and then, believing she had to for survival sake, complied with an arranged married in order to get away from being locked up in her aunt’s home. During this time, Meri handed Kollene a few tissues and put her arm over her shoulder, exhibiting empathy for Kollene’s life of horrors and proof that the Brown family and most polygamists are exempt from these repulsive behaviors.

Kristyn Decker had only a few minutes to talk. I know she left the Apostolic United Brethren or Allred group nearly 11 years ago, but she was asked not to use that description on the show, so she said she “left another polygamous group.” Since the others ex-polygamists were specific about the groups they left, I wondered why she didn’t say so. She talked of her father being the leader of that group, of her sadness watching her mother’s ongoing heartaches as the first of her father’s thirteen wives. She said she was sexually and emotionally abused, and later in life found that her younger sisters had also endured the same while her dad and their mother (another wife) ignored and justified the perpetrator’s behavior as “childhood curiosity.” She said after living polygamy for too many years, following in her mother’s foot-steps, it became intolerable, especially as she realized most of her beliefs had been based on lies and complete deceit.

Christine Marie talked briefly about becoming a young convert and very active member in the LDS Church. She believed in all of the doctrine and teachings, including a prophesy that claims, in the last days the remaining part of the Book of Mormon would be translated and restored to the church. (This book is the main force behind the LDS Church that Joseph Smith was supposed to have translated and never completed.) Christine said she met a convincing man who appeared Christ-like deceived her into believing he had translated the rest of the Book of Mormon. She said it sounded convincing and there were other believers.

This false prophet even got other people to help him, including the woman she thought was her primary “sister wife,” and they put her through hell. She ended up not only being scammed, but raped, beaten, robbed, and psychologically tortured. He justified her anguish as her needing to be tested like Job in order to merit eternal life and be worthy of being with her children throughout eternity. When she could bear no more and was ready to kill herself, one of her male exploiters revealed that it was all fraud, none in the group were actually believers, and she was being taken advantage of in the worst way possible. Even the main “sister wife” that was involved in this horrific deception of Christine Marie portrayed herself as a believer when she was actually an atheist. This experience motivated Christine Marie to start Voices for Dignity as an advocate for survivors of polygamy and human trafficking.

Then the fireworks began.

Again Robyn shared her sadness for what we’d all been through, saying she was sorry but that’s not the norm in polygamy.

Christine slid forward and jubilantly exclaimed, “Aunt Kristyn” how nice it is to see you again. The audience sounded shocked, while she continued to say how sorry she was that Aunt Kristyn had been through so much hell in her life, that she had no idea she’d gone through so much when her own life was so joyous and perfect. She only remembered good times hanging out with her cousins at Aunt Kristyn’s home, again saying she didn’t know how bad things were while in the next statement she said she always feared the evil she heard was going on all around her.

Kristyn said there was a whole lot Christine hadn’t seen and was still not seeing, and that she was happy Christine had had a good life.

Kody barked out that he is nothing like Kristyn’s ex-husband and those other men, so polygamy should be a choice without threat and repercussions for those like him who wanted to live it and are not be bad people.

Christine Marie said she agreed, but brought out a long list of research from Canada’s 7 month debate on whether to decriminalize polygamy or keep it illegal. She stated a few things about the judge’s findings stating “polygamy is inherently abusive,” before Kody got mad at her for judging them.

She said what she wanted to bring up was years and years of research that supported more “harms” than not among polygamous families. Kody got livid again saying we were trying to “paint all polygamists with the same brush.”

Kristyn looked at Meri and said, “In public” (she was not allowed to say “on your Sister Wives show,”) you have said before that you would not live plural marriage unless you believed you had to. Meri nodded and mumbled yes.

Then she looked at Robyn and said, “You just said you—

Robyn leaned forward on her chair and started yelling at Kristyn, saying, “Don’t make me out to be a victim! This is the way I want to live! This is my choice and I’m happy living polygamy in Kody’s family! And I wouldn’t live this way if I didn’t believe in it!

Things seemed to escalate a bit from there before professor _ ended the discussion/debate for Q&A, but at some point before all of that happened, Kristyn was able to get a word in edgewise to say to Robyn. “By the way Robyn, thank-you for making my point – you wouldn’t live this way if you didn’t believe you have to.”

During the Q&A – the Browns were asked to tell why they believed in polygamy, what doctrine or belief system dictated those beliefs. All 5 of them hem and hawed refusing or not knowing what to do or to say.Kristyn got the mike and explained the original LDS doctrine that originated by Joseph Smith and said the fundamentalists hold tightly to the 132^ndsection of the churches’ Doctrine & Covenants where Joseph Smith states those who don’t live plural marriage will be damned.

After the panel discussion, while waiting to talk to Kristyn, I heard Janelle’s oldest son apologized to her for Robyn’s behavior, saying she easily gets roweled up and when things bother her, but she didn’t mean to be rude.

I followed Kristyn while she went over to Christine to invite her to dinner and gab. She said no, she had other plans. Christine Marie also came over to where we were standing to invite Christine’s family to do some photo shoots together. She said, “No we are on different wave-lengths.” I was quite surprised since Kody had just stated in public that he and his wives were transparent and not at all prejudice.

Overall, I felt the Ex-polygamous case as to why polygamy shouldn’t be lived as compared to the Brown’s case as to why it is supposedly OK. was much better and well said. Ialso felt the Browns were grouchy, mean and defensive toward the others. I’m glad I was there to see it all.

Oh yes, and one more thing. As I was leaving, I heard the Sister Wives guy, who runs the show, say to one of his camera guys, something like; wow, I never expected that to happen. “I sure wouldn’t do this if it didn’t make us so much money.” 

Does it appear that the Anti-Polygamist group had many rules to follow... (don't say Allred group) but the Browns had none? Sound off!!
Notes:
Kristyn Decker's father - Prophet Owen A. Allred.
her and Christine are 2nd cousins by birth and Christine's grandmother married the Prophet which makes Kristyn her aunt by marriage.

Meri Brown's father was married to several Allred girls, Kody's grandmother was an Allred. Let's face it, it seems they are all related with the exception of Janelle.

Kollene Snow is the dtr of  John Daniel Kingston

We will try to feature each of the guests later this week.

BIG thanks to Anonymous who sent this in! 
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The Browns are like any average American family. If every family consisted of four wives and 17 children, that is.

The Browns are polygamists living in Las Vegas, trying to paint a modern picture of plural marriage. In an attempt to denounce the negative stereotypes of polygamy, from sexual abuse to forced marriage, the Browns have put their every move on camera.

The stars of TLC’s Sister Wives, a reality television show centered around the Brown family, joined UNLV April 25 for a panel discussion. A crowd gathered in Marjorie Barrick Museum, curious to draw the curtain back from the life of the polygamous.

“The great thing about [polygamy] is that it was our choice,” said patriarch Kody Brown. He held his position during the panel in the center of his four wives — Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn. Each time he spoke they looked at him in admiration.

The women were dressed in contemporary attire — high heels, black skirts and slacks and brightly colored tops. Their hair was blown out, their faces made-up and no bonnet in sight.

A member of the crowd stood up and asked if the women were looking to Kody Brown for permission before they spoke.

Meri Brown heatedly grabbed the microphone and said she looks at her husband because she loves him and when she wants to speak she will. The audience applauded.

Christine Brown’s aunt, Kollene Star, Kristen Decker and Willie Steed sat opposite the Kody Brown family, all three from polygamous backgrounds which they had abandoned.

“I didn’t want to share my husband,” Decker said.

Raised in a polygamous family herself, she felt she had to stay in her own marriage because of her religion.

“I was told that if I didn’t support my husband in plural marriage, then I wouldn’t be able to see my children in heaven,” Decker said. “It killed me when my husband left for his honeymoon with his new wife … I was thinking suicidal [thoughts] when I heard about the details of their honeymoon.”

Meri Brown, Kody Brown’s first wife, faced Decker and assured her that they wouldn’t be doing this if they didn’t believe in it.

To read the rest of the story, please follow the link:

Browns at UNLV Discussion Panel

Story from The Rebel Yell - Written by:  Khusbu Bhakta, Photo By: Paulina Zeng May 2013