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2 Ekim 2013 Çarşamba

What Love is This? Sister Wives Panel Discussion

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Another outstanding What Love is This? discussing the UNLV Panel Discussion - and gives us a plug!

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21 Eylül 2013 Cumartesi

"Sister Wives" Review: "Sister Wives On the Ropes" Ed Kociela

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**Trying a different COMMENT way - instead of a bunch of posts, once you have read all the comments here, click the link at the bottom of this post and go directly to comment area two!  

Ed Kociela, author of 'Plygs' wrote our review this week!!!!!
BIG Love Shack, Baby Love Shack, Bay-Bee....


It’s been three days since I watched the latest episode of “Sister Wives.” I hope, in time, my stomach will stop churning. I must admit, I am not a fan of reality TV. Give me a good old-fashioned dose of “unreality” TV any day of the week, like a rerun of “Seinfeld,” or “House,” or “Everybody Loves Raymond” (thank God for DVDs!)

"The Real World?" According to whom? It certainly doesn't resemble the world I live in. And "The Apprentice?" Can't the American viewing public fire Donald Trump?
Yeah, Sunday’s episode was that bad.

It did little good for the credibility of TLC, the network that broadcasts
the show, to have it fall within 48 hours of the outstanding two-hour presentation NBC broadcast on “Dateline,” where newsman Keith Morrison explored the world of fundamental Mormon polygamy through the eyes of escaped polygamist Rebecca Musser. It was a news broadcast that lived up to the depth and integrity of a long-standing, well-respected news-gathering institution.


TLC, which was once known as The Learning Channel, on the other hand, is a lesson on just how far the media in the United States has slipped.

Production values for the show were minimal. The camera was unfocused, so badly that it wouldn’t even qualify as bad French noire
cinematography. The editing was sloppy, making the cut-and-pasted segments flow with all the grace of a tree branch bouncing in the current of a flash flood. The actors in this vignette were poorly equipped to carry through with the obviously scripted bits handed them by the show’s producers.

<<<Robyn caught "Chomping at the Lip" again.





And therein lies the greatest problem with the show.

I spoke with Kristyn Decker, an escapee from the shackles of polygamy
herself, about what it was like to participate in the most current episode of the show.

I gather it was akin to a cliff diver stepping off his perch only to find that the tide was out and he was doing a nose dive into the rocks.
Would Kristyn, given the opportunity or the foresight of what would occur, do it again?

“No way,” this soft-spoken refugee from one of Utah’s polygamous cults told me. “I was told we would be able to give our views, our perspectives…I feel totally betrayed.”

And that, I am ashamed to say, is how I feel about the media today. I write a weekly column for a Southern Utah newszine called
“STGnews,” but before that, I worked extensively in the media world as a newspaperman for the Herald-Examiner, once a major daily newspaper in Los Angeles, and at The Spectrum, a daily newspaper in St. George, Utah about 40 minutes from where Warren Jeffs and his FLDS bunch set up camp in the twin cities of Hildale, Utah and Colorado City, Arizona, along the border in a remote spot in the desert.

I left that behind several years ago, packed it in and hauled it down to Mexico with my wife Cara, to write my first book, a journalistic novel called “plygs.” We were gone for a year and a half. During that time, we collected our news from a variety of sources other than the local and national U.S. agencies. It was an eye-opener.

We’re here in the U.S. for the time being, doing some PR and promo work for “plygs” and my new book, “It Rocked! (Recollections of a reclusive rock critic.)” Since we’ve been back, I have been stunned by how much the media has changed. It is advertiser driven, contrived, geared more toward titillation than, well, truth.

There were moments that, as I watched, seemed totally contrived, particularly those surrounding the panel discussion held at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas facility that pitted Kody Brown and his wives against former polygamist colony members Kristyn, Kollene Snow, Willie Steed, and Christine Katas. 

The bathroom scene where Christine feigned fear of a confrontation with Kristyn just before the panel met that required sister wife
intervention to escort her from the toilet because her aunt was standing outside?

“That was ridiculous, I was just waiting to use the bathroom,” Kristyn told me. “I really needed to go to the bathroom, then fix my hair and get ready for the panel.”

She said she was really concerned, at the time, that something was wrong with her niece, Christine.

“I thought she had a (physical) problem of some kind and I really felt sorry for her,” Kristyn said.
                                                                
 Robyn giggling saving Christine

Assessment?                                           

The fear factor instilled in Christine came from the producer, not Kristyn’s presence. To have them smile and greet each other warmly would just not be good TV.  A little TLC - influenced drama spiced the scene up.

There was the moment of the episode when Robyn looked at her phone
and said somebody texted that Kody was a misogynist pig.

Sorry, the timing was just too perfect. Had it been real, wouldn’t she have mentioned who sent the text?

“They tried to make it look like one of us sent a nasty note like that,” Kristyn told me. “Then he (Kody) says the biggest adversaries in his life are the ones who left polygamy.”

To have my suspicions confirmed inflamed my sense of fairness. It also saddened my sense of loyalty to a media I have served faithfully for my entire writing career, which stretches back to when I was a 15-year-old hanging out at the offices of the small daily newspaper that served my southern California community, wanting to learn all I could about being a newsman.

The truth, as occurs so often these days, became a casualty in the pursuit of viewership and ratings. Fairness? Credibility? Out the window.

“Sister Wives” leaves us with more questions than answers.
It’s vague, misleading, especially when they get around to defining it as a lifestyle choice rather than religious mandate, but I guess as long as the group the Brown family is affiliated with gets its 10 percent tithing, everything’s OK.

                                            5th Beatle Wanna-Be or heading to "Breaking Amish?"

Me?
I’d really like to know what happens after they turn off the cameras.
I’ve seen some personality traits in Kody Brown that are alarming, his flashes of temper, his immaturity, his angry eyes, his domineering Alpha male personality. He doesn’t seem a likeable guy. At least not to me.

The women?

There doesn’t seem to be much going on behind their eyes. They always look as if they have something else they would rather say than what tumbles out of their mouths.

Are they happy?

I think Kristyn nailed it when she told me: “I used
to be there. You have to sedate your feelings with food or become a workaholic…whatever it takes to stay happy in a polygamous relationship.

“My mother taught me how to be miserably happy.”


 Sedation by bathroom affirmations?
Me?
Well, as far as reality TV goes, about all I am willing to deal with at this point is “Pawn Stars.”At least Chumlee seems to be having fun.

Thank you Ed for such a thought provoking review! 

TWD

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20 Eylül 2013 Cuma

"Sister Wives" Willy Steed's View of the UNLV Panel

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This is an amazing young man Willy Steed.
A story waiting to be told.



Willy and his family were banished from the FLDS about a yr ago. His mother and six of his sisters were out in a cold new world. He is an inspiration to me and will be to you. Watch their story underneath his video response. 
Willy went to discuss the issues of polygamy  with the members of the UNLV discussion. He was not happy when his story and answers left on
the cutting room floor. He does realize this is the Brown's show and can respect that.

Also below are the clips below from Willy's 20/20 interview right after his departure from the FLDS. If you liked last week's with Rebecca Musser, once again you'll be invested in this story. Much has changed in the short year since it's premire. 
Willy Steed's view of the UNLV panel discussion
(Diggin' the longer hair Willy)
Feel free to ask Willy questions about the FLDS and his life.



Part 1 of 20/20 Willy starts at 5:48



This next clip will break your heart all the way around. From the education being being taught to the FLDS children, to the LACK of Laws protecting the home schooled in FLDS areas, to listening to his little sister calling herself an apostate. MUST SEE!



Click the links to catch the rest:

A Haircut Means Freedom

Confronting the God Squad

Pulled Back Into the Fold

We appreciate everyone that came and spoke this week; Ed Kociela giving his time and answers and many folks emailing us, insider tips, and all the fun we've had. I hope that you will remember Willy, his family, and Kollene this week in your prayers, if you do so. God Bless these young folks on their new journey in life.  
Post limited to discussion of Willy and the FLDS.
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19 Eylül 2013 Perşembe

"Sister Wives" Christine Marie and her thoughts about the UNLV Panel with "Kody Brown Family"

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“Painting Us With Their Experience?”
 
That’s the name of the episode.  It’s not true though.  This was the theme of Kody’s comments – that we were painting them with a broad brush (generalizing all polygamy to be abusive.)  This was handy, but we didn’t do that.  I don’t believe that Kody physically abuses his wives or children.  I think their family is unique, and quite frankly, special.



But it is not true that I projected my experience onto them.  In fact, that is the very reason that I brought up research.  And in case I was challenged on the validity of it, I had packed a huge stack of peer-reviewed research and brought it along.  Kody repeatedly argued that I was “painting with broad strokes,” meaning that I was wrongly labeling all polygamy harmful. I said it was NOT “broad strokes.” I gave specifics.



I explained how the Canadian government was so liberal, they legalized same-sex marriage in 2004, and they legalized prostitution in 2012, but when the Supreme Court of British Columbia sought to overturn the ban on polygamy, after reviewing “the most comprehensive judicial record on polygamy ever produced in the history of the world,” Chief Justice Bauman declared that there was inherently too much harm to justify legalizing polygamy.



This had nothing to do with me projecting my own bad experience onto them.  It had nothing to do with me at all.  Or them. These are just facts.


Embracing?
 
At the debate the Brown’s said being open and embracing of those families who want to live polygamy will result in these families feeling less likely to separate themselves into their own isolated communities.



Kody explained that their family should not be treated like criminals just because other men in polygamy have abused their wives and children.  We get this.  Kody said they should have the right to live as they wish as long as they are not hurting anyone.  We get this too.  But laws are not made for the exceptions.

And most families in polygamy are not like them.



Kody’s rationale was that if all families could be allowed to live polygamy openly and publicly without fear, people would not retreat into isolated groups and there would be less abuse.  (Will get to this in a moment)

 
Rejected, Ouch! BROWNS REFUSE Photo session and Visit!
 
After the debate, I was hoping to invite the women of the Brown family to come to our Las Vegas studio for a super-fun, creative photo shoot, something that would have been modest, retro and positive, but Christine Brown immediately rejected my offer.  Without hesitating she said something like, “No I don’t think so, we’re just on two different tracks.”



FYI – My husband is fashion photographer Tolga Katas.He has a waiting list of magazines and women who want his photos or dream of being photographed by him.  I was surprised and confused by Christine Brown’s response,  so I tried to clarify.



“You mean you can’t have a photo shoot done by someone who has different beliefs from you?”



In my happy world, people can have different views and beliefs and still be friends. That’s freedom.



Christine fumbled for words and it was a really uncomfortable moment for me.  I even blushed, looked at the camera guys filming me and said, “Well, that was awkward.” I felt like I was in junior high, and a group of girls rejected my invitation to be friends because I didn’t have the same beliefs or skin color.

What Went Wrong?



Then questions and realizations started washing over me in waves – like maybe Christine Brown saw me as an enemy, or someone who threatened her “lifestyle.”   (After all, I am an abolitionist.  Among other things, I actively try to help lawmakers realize how certain religious leaders employ psychological terrorism to benefit themselves, and how religion can be used as a tool of human trafficking. )



Or maybe their prophet or Bishop or Kody told the wives in advance that associating with this particular non-believer was off limits.  Or maybe I was just too evil.



But here’s what I realized.  The moment Christine Brown shut the door to my offer, the Brown’s entire argument about how decriminalizing polygamy would create an openness & transparency that would stop isolation & abuse from happening – just flew out the window, fell to the ground and buried its head in the mud.  They want the world to be open and embracing of them, but they don’t return the favor for people who are different.



I wanted to be friends.  My door is still open.  If their answer remains a big fat “NO THANK YOU,”  it’s no big deal for me.



But they also slammed the door on associating with Kristyn Decker, their own family member, for the same reason.   Something in the Brown’s religious
mindset will not allow them intermingle with “apostates” – even if they were previously beloved family members.   I don’t consider that freedom either.   To the Right - "The Apostates"

 What Their Group Believes.



The elect and chosen people of God must associate with others like them.  Whites and blacks cannot intermarry.  Gay marriage is forbidden, there are different rules for men and for women, and the list of policies and restrictions goes on.  It’s so very legalistic, I can’t help but worry about them. Christ was about loving and forgiving one another.  Perfect love casteth out all fear, remember?  Yet while we were getting ready for the debate, we were told we had to enter the building at a different time and through a different door so the Brown’s didn’t have to see us. Christine Brown wouldn’t come out of the bathroom for ages because she didn’t want to see Kristyn.   Kristyn was filled with excitement, hope, anticipation and good will at the thought of seeing and hugging her neice Christine.  But it seemed as if Christine Brown and family were filled with a fear of her own making.



Like they wanted to drum up a reason to feel attacked.  But there was no antagonism or attacking going on, at least from our end.  There was no hatred, no name-calling, only love and hope and offers for friendship. The Brown’s saw the world from a false reality.  All four of us wanted to go to dinner with them afterward.  We were open and embracing. The Brown’s misjudged us and rejected us, not the other way around.
 
Is Fear Really Freedom?



The Brown family is unique, but even they have their walls of fear.  Legalizing polygamy will not change this.  Nothing will stop true believers from isolating themselves, or gathering the righteous, like-minded people together so they can better follow their religion.



But if the Browns, (the best example of living patriarchal polygamy on the planet), do so because they are indoctrinated by a religion that requires it, remember that it is this same religious mindset that calls for them to shun the disillusioned members, separate themselves from those who have a crisis of faith, cover their ears and discredit former members when they speak about their painful truths, and demonize those who question their way of life.



It’s the epitome of kicking a person when they are down, pouring salt in a wound or adding insult to injury – multiplied by the former value of your soul.  When the members of the AUB or other polygamist sects abide by this policy of shunning wounded defectors, then all members are aware of the painful consequences that they too might face if they do not tow the line, or if they maintain a loving relationship with someone who is speaking out about their own bad experience.


 
That must be a terrifying thought to the members of the sect, hence, people like sweet, mild-mannered Kristyn Decker become reframed as people to fear. And families like the Browns create their own victimization in their own minds. This limits their choices.



Is that freedom?  What is the real rationale for shunning Kristyn from the extended family she loves so much?  Those Brown women may be happy, and I think they are extraordinary women, but they are indoctrinated, as I once was and I hardly consider them free.


I credit and honor these women for all the things they do so very well, for raising incredible children, for being kind to one another no matter how difficult it is, for trying to make a difference in the world in their own way.


But let’s call a spade a spade.  Religiously-mandated polygamy is a tool of manipulation and in most cases, it’s harmful.  Most families are not like the Browns. And laws are made for the majority, not the exception.

 

That’s my two cents.    -  Christine Marie
** Get your Kollene T shirt today!! Limited time offer!! Help!
 
Christine's interesting story was also featured on
What Love Is This?

Also See Christine's Story: How Could I have Believed Him?  and Q and A with Christine

Learn more about Christine Marie, victim's rights and so much more click here: 
christinemarie

We thank Christine so very much. I do think Christine Marie will be coming by to answer your questions here. 

TOPIC Post about Christine Marie and UNLV. Any other post should go below in the 4 - tweets area. 
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15 Eylül 2013 Pazar

2 Sister Wives "Sister Wives On the Ropes" s04e09 Spoilers, Gossip

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Tweets during show from Funky Town, who worked overtime tonight!

Sean, really? REALLY? That is untrue and you retweet it?
 Kody validates the Williamses with Excited!


Madison, it's great that you two can behave better than the adults. You two are good girls.

 Ignorance is a state of being uninformed. Sounds like Brittany is uninformed. Facts are facts.

 Meri, teach Christine this.









Glad all those years Welfare stepped in and helped you didn't have to pay back, whew....





NO ONE called him a pig. It's sad to make drama where there is none.



Really? Or Good Drama?



This from another polygamist family:
But, teaching your children that this is the only way to heaven.....is.... 


O_M_G



wow












Good for Janelle for saying this!
She loves strangers but can't face her aunt?
Not mine!

Kody needs to give monogamous men lessons?



Why do folks jump in when they don't even read the tweets?




Oh, it was just for ratings, you should be scared of them....















This one made me LMAO:
No stolen thunder!






 The pluggin begins....



 GOOD QUESTION...WAIT...TLC arrange the discussion? WOW!!!!!!
Probably arranged the guests....and Christine's script was written.


Kollene is on Twitter, YEAH!!!


YOU tell 'em!




Note to self: Kollen is not teaching the kids to drive hahahha


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